The Pitch Craft Interview Series: Scarlett Longstreet
"I’m really passionate about divorce as a tool for liberation."
Dear friends,
Have you ever found yourself sleepless at 1am and rabbit-holing the Instagram and Substack archives of a woman in Michigan who you’ve never met just because something about the way she communicates speaks directly to the messiest parts of your life?
I have.
That woman is Scarlett Longstreet, who I’m now very proud to call my Internet Friend™, and you should subscribe to her Substack HAPPY ENOUGH immediately if not sooner. My gateway drug to Scarlett’s soulful, lucid, feminist writing was “You and I both know this house is haunted: On being the one who leaves the marital house behind”. (Girl, same.) I kept slapping the vein with “My boyfriend’s wife” and “My marriage radicalized me”. (Girl, same.) I haven’t stopped.
I admire Scarlett because I think her writing is lyrically beautiful and politically urgent, and also because I think she’s braver than me. Do you even understand the brass ovaries required to write about divorce as you’re living it? I typed nary a public word on the subject until the legal paperwork was signed, sealed, and delivered. But Scarlett continues to write her way all the way through it, in public and accessible forums, and in so doing, she makes a lot of women enduring a terribly hard thing feel a lot less alone. And that, my dear friends, is what I would call a courageous-ass act of motherfucking feminism.
Check out this series’ kickoff interview with Anthony Ocampo if you missed it, and read on to find out why Scarlett has made it her personal mission “to help rebrand divorce as a social good.” Bless her for that; I know I do.
What story does your full name, chosen or given, tell?
My mother was an unintentional feminist, meaning she made a lot of decisions that just ended up being sort of countercultural for the time, that were rooted in her being and not necessarily an ideology or value system that she consciously subscribed to.
Luckily for me it was a good set of beliefs, and I got a version of feminism through osmosis that started with my brother and I having her surname. This was foundational for me and really shaped my consideration for changing my own name when I was married at 26. I kept my maiden name until after my first daughter turned one and then eventually I kind of just felt like I wanted to have cohesion in our family unit, so I legally changed my name from Posner to Longstreet, about three years into my marriage.
Once I really started writing more and building a brand (*barf* - but the times are what they are) under that name, it didn’t make a lot of sense to go back to my maiden name after my divorce. Now, I don’t think of Longstreet as my ex-husband's name. I think of Maggie Smith’s You Could Make This Place Beautiful and that title is a mantra to me. I took this thing, that could have been a reminder of a painful transition or loss, and I made it beautiful. I – we- have that power. Plus, I have three daughters, and I refer to us as the Longstreet Ladies, I couldn’t turn my back on that alliteration, we’re a little pack.
On what topic could you walk into a room right now and deliver an impassioned 20-minute monologue with zero preparation?
Oh gosh, I’m really passionate about divorce as a tool for liberation and also anything adjacent to it, like coparenting. People don’t have the skills to navigate these things with care, and I’ve made it my mission to help rebrand divorce as a social good. I want people to divorce well, to coparent well, and to not come out traumatized on the other side of it.
Who was the first person who ever believed in your writing, and how did they show you that faith?
My parents were addicts and I didn’t have a lot of oversight as a child and teen, but I had one teacher, Ms. Davis who poured into me and really made me believe that I had some inherent value. She made me feel bright and she also held me to a standard – she gave me a D my senior year in an advanced marketing class. I was just being lazy, she was tough and sharp, and I look back on that and laugh because she wasn’t gonna take my shit.
And in terms of my writing, my best friend, Heather Thompson Day has been my biggest champion. She is my first reader always. We come from very different backgrounds, she’s quite spiritual and she has maintained that I have a purpose and calling, ordained by God if you will! I am not sure what I believe, but the fact that she believes in me in this way has been one of the greatest gifts of my life. Everyone deserves to have a Heather on their side.
What was the moment you came closest to giving up on writing?
Probably this past year. I had a meeting with a lit agent and she didn’t really see my vision. She definitely wasn’t a good fit for the project I was working on, but it’s hard not to take it personally and think that you’re a talentless worm sometimes.
Editor’s note: I am personally incensed that no literary agent has yet been smart enough to scoop up Scarlett Longstreet. This is a fucking CRIME. Or perhaps, if you are an agent reading this….an opportunity.
What kept you from giving up on writing?
I’ve been fortunate to connect with hundreds of women throughout the past few years who have shared their own stories and experiences of addiction, motherhood, and divorce – and what my words have meant to them. It's humbling. It’s heartening.
What is the most deranged thing you’ve ever done in pursuit of your dreams?
Not given up. It took me over a decade to really “take off” and build my platform. I tried not to think about it too much or I’m sure I would have gotten embarrassed and quit. The metrics of success are always shifting, but as long as I have something to say I think I'll keep at it.
What is the most meaningful non-financial return your writing has ever produced in your life?
Women getting free. Playing any role in shifting someone’s perspective on divorce, or the systems of domination we live under. I like to think that I’ve maybe had a hand in a few divorces and showing them that they can reimagine what family is. That they can put their children’s needs at the center of their decisions when it comes to coparenting. I’m a big fan of sucking it up, like, hey – I don’t want to be around this person (my ex) all the time, but I’ll be damned if my kids are gonna suffer needlessly. So, if people are doing one birthday party instead of two or Christmas, where everyone is all together, where kids have all the people that they love in one room, then that’s a huge win.
If that’s my life’s work, then that’s more than enough.
What is your favorite thing about your own writing?
It’s how I process and make sense of my emotions and the world around me. I’m not crazy about the term self-care since it’s been co-opted by capitalism to sell women sheet masks, but my writing is a way for me to tend to my well-being.
Which rejection or disappointment are you ultimately most grateful for, and why?
Even though I technically led my ex-husband and I out of our marriage, I did that because I felt really rejected by him. And ultimately there wasn’t any coming back from that decade’s long repudiation. So that one, because in dismantling our life as we knew it, I strengthened my voice, identity, and purpose.
How do you think your 8-year-old self would feel about your life and career today?
I didn’t do a lot of dreaming in my childhood. My home life was a bit traumatizing and chaotic, it’s hard to be future thinking when you’re just trying to wade through the minute. I’m not sure what little Scarlett would have hoped for vocationally, but I think she’d be happy that I’m giving three little girls safety and love and that I’m safe and loved.
What does confidence mean to you?
I like what I like and who I am and I’m comfortable living with people’s discomfort or disapproval. I trust myself implicitly. When I was growing up, everyone in my small town knew my parents were addicts. Parents wouldn’t let their kids hang out with me, adult mothers would call me names, one called me Scarlett the Harlot – I was a middle schooler and had never had a sexual experience. I learned very early on that people’s opinions aren’t a reflection of reality.
SOME BRIEF ITEMS OF BOOKISH BUSINESS
Bay Area locals: please save the date of September 16 for my pub day rager, 7pm at Green Apple Books on The Park! None other than the television critic at The New Yorker, aka my cherished friend Inkoo Kang, will be my interviewer for this event. Non-locals, never fear: GAB also streams their events on YouTube. RSVP here!
I have held my new book baby in my hands for the first time and hot goddamn she is GORGEOUS.
Enjoyable entry as always!